The Chronicles of Missya - Prince Myshkin (or The Idiot)

Good afternoon, my lovely readers! After a full attempt at 6 hours of sleep, I am feeling re-energized and ready to continue the ever eventful sagas of mjl. This next chapter, entitled "Prince Myshkin (or The Idiot)" (named for Dostoyevsky's The Idiot), to put it bluntly, deals with just such people: idiots.
While I had sincerely hoped that I would never have to write about the bizarre attempts at romanticism that plague my life like...well...a plague, I promised to recap the past few months and will do so, even if it's much to my own chagrin. Just keep in mind, dear reader, that as a stoic, stone-hearted robot in the realm of all things romantic, it is not the easiest thing in the world for me to say what I've truly been feeling these past few months. Hopefully the third person novelist device will make it easier...here we go...

Chapter 2: Prince Myshkin (or The Idiot)

Love, as constantly reiterated by the infatuated songsters of generations past, is a many splendid thing. It is all we need. It will never fail. It'll lift us up where we belong and all that jazz.

But this story is not about love.

This story is about idiots.

We find our first idiot, we shall call her Girl, to even further remove any authorial attachment, in the wings of a University theatre.
Now, as far as "love" or "relationships" went, Girl was single.
Girl was happy being single.
Single worked for Girl.
For, you see, Girl, who had never before been in what she considered a "real" relationship with a gentleman, enjoyed the freedoms associated with a life of singledom. She had, in past mistakes, made attempts at leaving her comfortable realm of romantic solitude, but to no avail, as she discovered, time and again, that the species of Idiot known as Pigheadia Dumbassicus, or "boy" in laymen's terms, can be very hurtful and dishonest in their romantic escapades, thereby jading her in the affairs of the hopeless romantics.

But as we said before, we find Girl in the wings of a university theatre and, lo and behold, she is conversing with one of the many prime examples of Pighedia Dumbassicus, whom we shall call Boy.

Now, Boy was a handsome young man, two years younger than Girl, but very charming, complimentary, and sweet, thereby making him a seemingly refreshing anomaly to his sex. As he and Girl conversed more often over the last week of rehearsals before Tech Week of their fall play, Boy made hints at having an affinity for Girl, followed by a flat out confession of "strong feelings" for her. Girl was very flattered, for she too felt something for Boy but, being the single, independent Destiny's Child woman that she was, politely informed Boy that she had high standards & was weary to get into a relationship too quickly, especially with someone she hardly knew. She and Boy agreed that getting to know each other would be best...this lasted for about 3 or 4 days.

Opening Night of the play came and went for the young Idiots, and in the dark, but moonlit hours that followed the night's reveling, as they stood in each other's fond embrace, yadda yadda yadda, their lips, like pilgrim's hands, did touch, & so on & so forth & Boy asked Girl to be his girlfriend, and Girl agreed.

**The author would like to take this moment to ask you to forgive her, if you will, for the sappy Shakespearean love-talk, but warns that this sap's sticky hold on Girl will in fact be prevalent later on in our tale.**

The dart of infatuation had pierced the stone heart of Girl, and she soon found that her eyes for romance, which she thought would surely remain secure in their shade of dark, jaded cynicism, began to morph into a sickeningly sweet shade of rosy pink.
She was, for the most part, very happy. Boy proved to be a nice addition to her life, and he got along splendidly with her friends and family, which, of course, made Girl very glad. And although the relationship hit a bit of a snag within its first few days, concerning an event that Boy assured Girl was just a misunderstanding, things were going relatively well. Until the fated night of the party.

Now, to provide a little background on Boy, by means of a brief and extremely vague history: he had some issues, to say the least. He carried with him baggage from some truly awful familial problems that had accumulated over the years, as well as some poor choices he had made in dealing with said problems. Girl knew this, empathized, and was understanding. She and Boy had discussed some of these issues, especially issues concerning the smoking of illicit narcotics; Girl's feelings towards narcotics & her past history in dealing with loved ones & such illicit substances were made known, and Boy also seemed understanding.

Moving on to the party...
Boy & Girl had a mutual friend who had kindly invited them to a birthday party. Several of Girl's other dear friends were in attendance, as well as a handful of shady characters unknown to her, and a splendid time was had by all...sort of. All but Girl and one of Girl's most dearest friends partook in the consumption of alcohol that night, and, alas, Boy was part of their numbers.
Girl has consumed alcohol before and has friends who drink, though they are not of age, so she was not too concerned with Boy playing the primitive game of "Beer Pong"; however, she did make it quite clear that his partaking in smoking pot was not going to happen. Boy agreed.
The party drew on, Boy played more rounds of Beer Pong, and Girl's curfew drew ever closer, but before Girl left, Boy, who had, at this point, enjoyed a few too many rounds of beer, decided to have a talk with Girl. He informed her that he really didn't want to screw things up with her or hurt her, and that his biggest concern was that he never wanted to cheat on her. For you see, Boy & Girl had discussed a promise Girl had made to herself & to God that she would abstain from some of the more lusty acts of youthful college abandon (aka sex) until she was married, and Boy was concerned that Girl's abstinence may cause him to be tempted to stray from Girl's side.
Quoth the Boy, "I really don't want to cheat on you or hurt you."
Quoth the Girl, "So don't."
For you see, my loverly readers, Girl may be old-fashioned in her views of abstinence before marriage, but she did not, nor does not to this day, think that cheating should be a detrimental choice of life or death if one really cares about their partner. Call her crazy, but she believes that being with the person that one really, truly cares about should be enough to keep one satisfied. Therein lies mistake number one and the idiocy of poor, naive Girl...
Boy & Girl finished their conversation, and Girl left Boy behind to continue reveling as she drove off to meet her curfew.
And therein lies her second mistake.

A couple hours after Girl had left, she received a text from her dear friend whose birthday they had been celebrating; he informed Girl that Boy had gone off with some less than favourable characters to smoke illicit substances. Girl was upset and disappointed, to say the least, in what she was reading, but this was nothing compared to what was to come.
Minutes later, Girl received a phone call from the same friend, telling her that Boy's lips, like the ADD little Pilgrim's hands they were, were touching those of another girl.
And therein, dear readers, lies the idiocy of Boy.
For, you see, Boy's idiocy, that he had so vehemently protested against not two hours before, caused Girl to do the thing she hates the most:
She cried.
She cried and cursed...careened from despondency to resentment...and all because of a boy. An idiot.

So Girl did the first thing that she could think of: she put on her shoes, grabbed her phone, and ran. She ran long and hard down the dark, desolate streets of her neighborhood as she waited for the cavalry of friends that were on their way to her home to comfort her. As she ran, she could think of nothing but how hurt and infuriated she felt until, suddenly, she realized that focusing on the pain and anger caused by this horrible circumstance was not the appropriate, or healthy, response. So Girl stopped running, knelt down in the street, and began to pray.
She prayed for strength, for comfort, and, finally, for the power to forgive Boy.
Almost immediately, she was met with a sense of inner peace, and although the pain of the situation was still an existing presence in her mind, it was somewhat alleviated.
In what seemed like moments later, as if in response to her prayers, Girl found herself in the middle of an onslaught of comforting embraces from her beloved friends who proceeded to spend the next couple hours consoling her.
It was then that Girl found out, from one of her dear consulars who had ended up driving Boy home from the party that night, that Boy, like Girl, was beside himself upon having his idiocies of the night reiterated to him as he sobered up. The consular described Boy as one whom he'd never seen so broken, sobbing and begging for punishment.

Although this news fell upon the deaf ears of her other consulars, who remained devoutly rooted to protecting Girl's hurt feelings, Girl could not help but feel a tinge of sympathy towards Boy. This is not to say that she was at all approving or excusing what he had done to her, but the inexorably remorseful state of Boy, as described by her consular, did appeal slightly to her compassionate side, and she decided she would hear Boy out when the time came for them to talk.

After a hearty 3 hours of sleep, a talk with her mother, and a particularly effective sermon at church, Girl felt strangely at peace with the fiasco of the night before. (*The author would like to note that her use of the phrase "strangely at peace" should not be misconstrued as strange in that it led to any type of confusion on Girl's part as to why she felt very much alright with the ugly events of the night before, but should instead be taken as the author's poor attempt to describe how it feels when one completely relies on & gives all one's problems up to God in a crapshoot of a situation*). All traces of anger & bitterness towards Boy were gone, and in their stead, stood a very calm and firm resolve to forgive Boy and move on with her life.

After leaving church with her new found resolve, Girl met up with Boy to discuss the night before...
At this point, it should be noted that any past contexts or situations to which Girl or even you, dear Reader, may have prescribed the term "awkward silence" hold absolutely no bearings to the "conversation" that took place between Boy & Girl.
After the greeting and exchanging of common pleasantries between the two, the discourse that followed seemed more like a barrage of awkward silences intermittently interrupted by lines of dialogue, apologies, and, finally, crying.
(*To avoid making this obscenely lengthy blog any longer than it needs to be, the author would like to grant temporary, creative license to the reader & allow him/her to interject awkward silences & outbursts of tears, of any length, wherever his/her imagination deems necessary in the following conversation rather than the author having to state where every single bout of awkward silence and crying actually took place....just know there were a lot of them*)

Boy began by reiterating his deepest apologies; not only for the unfaithful act he had committed, but more importantly for the fact that he had hurt Girl. To this, Girl very calmly replied that it was alright and he was forgiven.
Apparently this was not what Boy expected or wanted to hear, as he stated his consternation and lack of understanding as to how both she and the consular, whom Boy had seen the night before, could be taking this situation so calmly. (*The author poses the idea that this may be why she describes the peace of God as "strange"*)
You see, Boy felt his actions were deserving of hatred and he could not yet accept them as being forgivable. This notion truly saddened, and continues to sadden, Girl, who knows that no action is unforgivable and explained that she, a corrupt and sinful being, has no right or authority to refuse someone forgiveness for making a mistake, even a seemingly severe one, when she errs all the time.

Girl then proceeded to explain to Boy that although she forgave him, his actions from the night before eradicated any trust that she had in him. She suggested that they take an indefinite break in their relationship, during which time Girl would gladly remain Boy's friend, and Boy could, if he so chose, get his act together and rebuild Girl's trust in him so that they may one day get back together in a romantic relationship. Boy agreed.

Fast forward to a little over a month later and we are again met with our dear protagonist, who we now find sitting on her bed, recounting the impossibly dull happenings of her life to whatever poor soul stumbles across her weblog. She is, once again, single as far as the vie romantique is concerned, and is, yet again, content with that fact. As promised, she has remained friends with Boy, and although she sees no indication of them getting back together, she is still very glad to have him in her life, if only as a friend.

Thus ends the extremely long and drawn out saga of the idiot, Girl...for now, that is.


*The author would like to make one final note and say that she is BEYOND ECSTATIC to be done with this gigantic, effing blog entry. HALLELUJAH!*



mjl.