Summer vacation is almost over, to which I would like to respond with loud and resounding boo's and hisses. Were I to watch the change in seasons on a stage, I would undoubtedly be throwing my rotten cabbages and tomatoes at the poor techie changing the scene from the boiling hot, lazy days of August into the slightly less boiling hot, busy school days of September. This would be followed by a diva tantrum in which I storm out of the theatre & demand a refund for the garbage I was just forced to sit through.
Nah, I'm just kidding. I'm actually kind of looking forward to school. It'll be nice to have something to do besides sitting at home cleaning, watching tv, or reading (not that I don't love doing those things, it'll just be nice to have a change).
As I look back on my summer, however, I realize that this has been both one of the most uneventful and eventful summers of my life. Very paradoxical, non?
Uneventful in the fact that I went practically nowhere except my aunt and uncle's beach house in Morro Bay, which, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love going to, and did practically nothing, which was also kind of wonderful because I read over 20 books, including The Bible :D, and got through 6 seasons of 24 with my family. So uneventful was not necessarily a bad thing, especially when you consider the super eventfulness that happened at the beginning of my summer...
So, as most of you all remember (if you don't, feel free to scroll down the page a bit and look at my last blog entry), I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease this past May.
**UPDATE**
Apparently, some of my more recent blood tests were negative for Crohn's and suggest that I do actually have Colitis. UGH! Make up your freaking mind already! I don't really care either way because the symptoms and treatments are pretty much identical, so it's pretty much a six of one, half a dozen of the other type ordeal. My mom still wants me to go down to UCLA Medical at some point though to see if the specialists down there can figure out what exactly I have.
So yeah, going back to my earlier comments about summer...it was really nice having such a relaxing summer after the first couple months of it being filled with hospital stays and doctor visits.
But really, this whole ordeal has been kind of a blessing. I mean, it sucked having to lose my role in two different shows I'd been cast in, and obviously staying in the hospital for so long is not ideal, but having this disease has really made me a stronger person and strengthened my faith and relationship with my Heavenly Father.
And really, you have to strengthen up when you go through things like this because if you let all the negatives get you down, then your life is going to be utterly miserable.
Not that I can even compare my situation to Job's in the slightest, but one can't deny his archetypal position of authority in history when it comes to keeping faith in the face of suffering, so I'm going to reference him. After being told by his "friends" that he was only going through tremendous pain & suffering because of his own sins & questioning why he kept in the faith, he responds, "Will you argue the case for God? Would it turn out well if he examined you? Keep silent and let me speak; then let come to me what may. Why do I put myself in jeopardy and take my life in my hands? Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him; I will surely defend my ways to his face."
I think that is definitely one of the hardest things to ever remember in times of trouble...EVER! Cause honestly, no one wants to go up to the person who allows something bad to happen and kiss them gently on the forehead. It's not going to happen. Yet we are called to continue to love and praise our Heavenly Father even when bad things are happening around us.
Now, granted, when it comes to things like people murdering each other, that's not of God (even though people like to say it's God's fault for "letting it happen"). He created us with free will, and with that comes the consequence and possibility of people who will use that free will for naught. You can't have your free will and eat it too.
But when it comes to stuff like what I went through...medical problems...it gets a little more difficult. It was really easy to question God at first & wonder why he was letting me get really sick & have to lose some amazing roles in the shows I'd been cast in, but now that I've gone through it all (or at least, the worst part, so they tell me), I can honestly say that I'm grateful to God for allowing me to have this disease.
I feel like I've grown so much in my level of maturity, my appreciation of life, and my faith, and if my experiences with being sick can affect one person in a positive way, then that would make those weeks in the hospital all worth it. Maybe my being sick will allow me to have a conversation with someone at some point in which the Holy Spirit may use me & shine his love into that person's heart...or maybe my colitis will have no effect on anyone else whatsoever...I don't know, and, honestly, I suppose it doesn't really matter because, whatever the case, God has already used this disease to help me grow in such tremendous and wonderful ways.
Alright, enough about my colon...let's get back to the topic at hand which was saying auf wiedersehen to my summer vacation. It's been fun, and we should definitely do it again sometime real soon.
big kisses,
mjl.
