In a few weeks, I'm going to be colon-less. I'm going to have a little hot dog-looking stoma sticking out of my belly and will be able to, for a few months at least, live out every man's dream of being able to go to the bathroom without getting out of bed. (Isn't that everyone's dream?)
In a few months, God willing, I will be cured of Ulcerative Colitis.
Upon coming to this realization, I, of course, being the stoic little stone that I am, began to cry like a kindergardener on the first day of school. But instead of tears of sadness, they were tears of joys.
A few people have called me "inspirational"...hardly. Passing out and snoring on your bathroom floor followed by a week of sitting in a vibrating bed reading InStyle and watching reruns of "Frasier" is hardly what I'd call "inspirational" behavior. I don't feel brave; I don't feel any stronger than anyone else; I feel at peace.
Paul, in his letter to the Philippians, speaks of a "peace that passes all understanding", and, not to sound like some hipster elitist, but this isn't really something you can put into words or understand (hence the phrasing) until you've gone through it. To feel God work in your life through circumstances that you know should be terrifying and to bring you, not only peace, but indescribable joy...THAT is inspiring. Not anything that I've done, but the work God's done in me.
Although I hope it doesn't take a fully diseased colon to get you there, my prayer for you all is that God may someday soon fill you to the brim with this peace.
Amen? Amen.
mjl.
