well, i'm officially an actor

Ok, not really, I still haven't had a paid gig yet, but I did just return from my first professional auditions which, for me at least, is a big step.

I've spent the past two mornings standing outside of Disney's Team/Cast Member offices, ready to sell my wares which, in this case, was my lovely little self and talents.  Sadly, there were no takers, but such is life. I've got a thick skin and a sufficiency that lies with something and someone greater than Disney Resort's Casting Director, so I'm really just grateful for the experience (:

Anywho, yesterday morning was the Disney Cruise Line audition which called for Character Performers. I got to the offices around 8:45 since I'd heard the number of actors can get pretty grotesque at these auditions; not the case for DCL. There were about 20 people there, including myself, when I arrived, and only about 40 others had joined when they finally let us in at 9:45.  I met some pretty cool people while in line, though I should note that the people I didn't talk to seemed equally sweet as well.  I think that was one of the most pleasant parts of the whole experience: EVERYONE seemed genuinely friendly and nice.

The guy and girl I spent the most time talking to had auditioned for Disney several times before and were telling me some of their past experiences (e.g. the girl had been told she's "too ethnic looking to be cast as a princess" because she's a quarter black--she looked totally white, the guy explained the "Fuzzy Auditions" process--masked/costumed characters, etc.); neither had done DCL auditions before so none of us knew what to expect. 

Anyway, around 9:45, we were finally checked in through security and led into an office building (which I was informed was designed with Goofy in mind) where we signed in, dropped off our headshots, and were measured (side note, the Disney measuring is whack. I'd heard this from others and then experienced it first-hand when they said I was 5'5.5"...whatever, still met their max. height allowance of 5'5"-5'8", so I didn't complain). 

We were then led to a dance studio in the backlot behind Toon Town where we were given about 10 minutes to stretch before our choreographer and casting directors came in.  The casting director informed us that although they were casting "fully-costumed characters" for the cruise, those cast would also be double-cast as ensemble dancers for the mainstage shows on the boat. <-- in theatre, film, and literature, this would be known as "foreshadowing", but, seeing as I am the protagonist in my own tale, I was obviously oblivious to this foreboding sign that I would more likely than not be eventually cut

The choreographer showed us two counts of eight that really weren't too difficult, but were given to us super fast with pretty much zero time in between learning them (i.e. "do this, this, this, prep, turn, turn, prepare, kick. got it? good. moving on" <-- = this all transpired in .87 seconds). It was really frustrating for me, because had I been given more than a second and a half to process it, I know I could've gotten it down well, but because I'm not a singularly focused dancer by trade, the download and process time for the clustered browser that is my mind is CONSIDERABLY slower than the dozen or so professional dancers at the audition who had it perfectly the second the choreographer showed it to us.

Damn it! I said pirouette, not chaine!!

(....the inner workings of my mind are run by irritable Asian women...obviously)

So the choreographer broke us into two groups and had us just take turns doing the combination to the music (this was apparently our "rehearsal" time, though she stopped dancing in the front after about the second or third time we'd tried it with music, and we weren't really allowed to practice it or make sure we had it right).  After a handful of times, they started calling us forward in groups of five for the actual audition.  Thankfully, God granted me with some rhythm and sense of movement, so I pretty much had it with just a couple wonky bits I never quite perfected, but I can smile and fake it with the best of 'em, so my audition wasn't too bad and nowhere near the worst of the bunch...

God, I hope I get it! I hope I get it!

However, "not too bad" isn't good enough when your competition is a bunch of girls who dance in professional ballet troupes (like this really nice girl I met who could've been the twin of Britney from "Glee"...she didn't even make it).

Out of the 60 or so people, they kept about 12...I was not one of those 12, but, like I said, it really didn't bring me down too much.  I'm not a professional dancer; that's not where I've chosen to focus my training, so I don't feel bad about not getting cast for a dancer's role.

This morning's audition for Character Look-Alikes for Fantasmic! was a little tougher to take, but still, I feel relatively unscathed. 

I didn't realize today's audition was specifically for "Look-Alikes"...I thought it was another Character Performer call (for those of you keeping score at home, that's Foreshadowing: 2, Missy: 0). I also thought the turnout would be similar to yesterday's, so I didn't feel bad about letting Megan sleep in and not getting to the audition until 9:20...that was my second mistake.  There were HUNDREDS of people camped out at this morning's audition.

It kind of looked like an Occupy protest...but with less rape & defecating in the streets

Once again, I met some really nice people while waiting in line, which made the two hours of moving very, VERY slowly through the line (they took groups of about 60-70 people backstage every 15-20 mins or so) a little more bearable.  My group finally got in around 11:45.  By this time, we'd already seen a TON of people get let go, so most of us knew the cuts were going to be subjectively off of our looks right off the bat.  Surprise, surprise...they were.

We were led into the same dance studio that DCL auditions had been in the morning before, but this time we had to line up in rows seven deep behind the numbers 1-10 on the floor.  The same DCL casting directors entered and explained that they needed Look-Alikes who both look like the needed Disney cartoons (apparently they recently had another Fantasmic! audition in which they already hired a bunch of people for the show, so I don't know who exactly they needed) AND look similar enough to the people who already work in the show.

....Close enough....

Then we had to smile...and that was it.

Simple enough.

We literally just stood there, smiling, while the casting directors walked past us and said "Good morning".  Only two girls from my row went on, totaling maybe half a dozen out of the seventy of us who were asked to go on.  It was slightly more frustrating than yesterday's since I can't really help how much I look like the characters they need or who they already have, but whateverz, it's not going to deter me from auditioning for other Disney stuffs later as they come up (:

As we were being led out of the studio past the next hopeful group about to go in, I passed a girl who said, "Oh no, she was cute!" I'd thought the exact same thing about fifteen times earlier that day, which also makes my non-casting a little easier to take, cause, hey, at the end of the day, at least I know I wasn't cut for being some deformed, uggo...at least I don't think I was (;

animatedly your's,
mjl.

i'm sorry for the unkind words i spoke out of hunger

sooooooooooooo, i've been on a juice fast (non-strict-- aka had a couple bites of rice one night, some crackers the day before-- for about a week, strict-- nothin' but the good stuff-- for like 3 or 4 days).......yeah.

the flareup who came to dinner, like any unwanted guest, has been annoyingly persistent in delaying his departure even after i've given all the signs that i clearly DO NOT want any guests right now (i.e. yawning conspicuously, mentioning how early i have to get up tomorrow & need to get to bed asap, etc.), so i've been forced to smoke him out.

now, as any good crohn's patient knows, food can have a tremendous impact on the irritated/ulcerated parts of your intestines. normally, i'm good just eating sups (pronounced "soups") bland during a flareup, but this one has gotten so bad and my colon is so bloody ulcerific that any and everything, from a deep dish pizza to a grain of white rice, is being seen as toxic by my body and grating to my ulcers, which causes lots of blood and stomach cramps...yay.

Little known symptom...falling asleep on the bathroom floor in a pair of mom-jeans

so what's the best way to stop the irritation/bleeding caused by all foods? deny my body food. vair smart, no?

yeah. it sounded stupid to me too, but i think it's working. i'm passing next to no blood and am no longer being woken up 5 times in the middle of the night with nausea and stomach cramps so bad they make you want to punch a panda. plus, it's pretty damn healthy getting all of your nutrients from fruits and veggies, so i feel good (generally) and have lost a crap ton of weight (over 20lbs).

the only thing that sucks? you don't get to eat food.

as much as i love turning into a skinny minnie, i like food better. and right now, all i really want is a burrito bigger than my head (which, coincidentally, has not lost any weight).

i totally trust God with this disease, so i know things are all going to work out one way or another...i just wanted to give you all the disclaimer in case i rip your head off out of hunger.

dreaming of comida mexicana...
mjl.

if i worked, and consequently got a discount, at modcloth, I would be a very happy girl.

Look how cute my clothes are!



Ohhhhh, the joys of having cute, old-timey clothes!

the proof is in the pudding, people.  these modcloth workers are the happiest girls in the world because they get to wear nothing but ridiculously cute clothes. were i to somehow inherit a large sum of money, it would take all of my self-control to not spend everything i had on the entirety of modcloth's inventory.

until then,
mjl.

we are gentlemen of harvard

If bomb.com were an actual site (it's not...I just looked it up...and consequently got myself on 17 different CIA "Potential Terrorist" lists by doing so), it would be one that played this movie on an endless loop.

I don't know why I enjoy this movie so much, all I know is that I spent almost every day in September flipping to it if I ever saw that it was on a movie channel while I was watching TV.  If you haven't seen The Social Network, go rent it right now. (Do people still rent? Netflix it or something, I don't care...just watch it)

"if you had invented facebook, you would've invented facebook"

mjl.

at least I don't look crazy...

So, for all 2 and a half of you who are just joining us and don't know, I'm a conservative.

Whaaaaaaaaaaa??

And as such, I've been paying fairly close attention to the potential 2012 presidential nominees popping up in the Republican party.  My obvious choice: Herman Cain

The face of victory.

Unlike anyone else running, he's not a dyed in the wool politician who has been born and bred to schmooze and please, but a successful business man who has strong Christian and Conservative beliefs and doesn't give a sh*t what people think. And did I mention he's the CEO of a pizza company?

According to the Associative Property, this man's foot also loves Herman Cain.

But this post is not about the HurriCAIN (see what I did there?), it's about Michele Bachmann.

Now, I have nothing against Michele Bachmann.  I like her and her politics well enough, I just like Herman Cain better.  What I don't like, however, is liberals and the media leading a witch hunt against her like they did to Palin in 2008.  I'm not sure what it is about strong Conservative women that seems to terrify the supposedly progressive, women's-rights-lovin' left, but whenever a woman starts to gain momentum in any party other than the Democratic one, they go out of their way to make her look as bad, stupid, or crazy as possible...

Clearly this woman cannot be president...look at how badly she photographs!

As a student of Political Science who has studied numerous forms of government, I can tell you that the true key to success in politics and leadership is being photogenic.  Your political and educational background mean nothing because, if you're photogenic, all the answers will magically pop into your head as you need them (such is the life of a beautiful person). So CLEARLY Michele Bachmann is not to be trusted because, damn it, she looks straight up crazy in that Newsweek photo!

The face of a psychopath

Now, as a person who's never taken a bad picture in her life...

I can totally empathize with everone who's terrified by Bachmann's crazy picture because normal people obviously never take bad pictures. 

Another thing is the constant meltdowns that liberals seem to suffer whenever a Conservative makes a mistake.  Obama is allowed to think we have 57 states, but God help Michele Bachmann if she thinks she can get away with EVER mistakenly misstating a fact. 

Better luck next time, amigo!

I can't say I'm surprised by it because, honestly, when your only candidate has proven himself to be utterly inept at leading the country, creating jobs, or helping the economy, what choice do you have but to demonize and undermine your opponents until they look crazy?  Because at the end of the day, it's not about who would make a better leader, it's about who's going to look better on the cover of Vanity Fair...because that's what America's really about, isn't it?

candidly your's,

mjl.

i hate philosophy.

it's stupid. easily the biggest waste of time ever passed off as a subject in school. the logic behind it is grotesquely circular and, at the end of it all, utterly useless because, hey, it's all relative, right?


"And now that you've spent the last 10 weeks meitculously studying, theorizing, and debating this topic in order to arrive at your well thought out conclusion, you should know that it doesn't mean sh*t...Enjoy your summer!"

i mean, i can embrace it for the fact that, yes, it absolutely brings up a lot of important questions and ideas that should be considered and debated, but at the end of the day, it's all for naught because if you adhere to the principles of philosophy (namely the philosophical ideal of relativity), then everyone's right and the entire debate was a waste of time.

by adhering to their own principles, philosphers devalue their own beliefs. if everything's relative, then the opinions they've arrived at after, perhaps, years of study, debate and analysis are no more valid than this lady's...


The Plato of our generation
it's infuriating. what's the point of asking these important questions if any conclusions or opinions derived from the philosophical debates surrounding them are debunked by the very nature of philosophy itself? answer: there isn't one.

there are no definitive statements. there are no answers. there is no truth. it is a "love of wisdom" only so much as its followers love to consider themselves wise based solely on the fact that they've created an illusion of life for themselves in which they've made it impossible to be proven wrong. but refusal to accept your falsities and misconceptions as such does not make them correct, and it sure as hell doesn't make you wise. it makes you that annoying kid on the playground who would stick his fingers in his ears and say "NAH NAH NAH NAH NOT LISTENING!!" when you politely tried to explain it was your turn to ride on the swings. you know...the one you wanted to punch in the face...

According to Metaphysical Philosophy, you may not even exist, so it can't be your turn! Neener neener neeeeeener!

sooooo, yeah. i'm pretty much over this bull. after this quarter's political philosophy class, i don't plan on ever returning to this subject ever again because, frankly, even talking about it for this long is making me want to pull my hair out.

and let's face it...i'm nothing without my hair.

......or am i?......

mjl.

just a humble bounty hunter, ma'am

Megan & I have been going crazy trying to watch everything Cowboy Bebop over the past couple months, and FINALLY, after hours on end of buffering, reloading, and wiggling the mouse around so the screen saver wouldn't interrupt all our interplanetary, anime goodness, we're through with the series and the movie, and, i've gotta say, it's kind of sad. Not in a "this is a crap ending, i'm really bummed" kind of sad, but like "i've invested a good amount of time into this, and now it's all over" kind of sad.

I'm always slightly saddened by the ending of a series...Return of the King, Deathly Hallows, Michael Scott's last episode...fuhgeddaboudit. I bawled my eyes out. It would seem the only exception to this fact is Revenge of the Sith which was crap...Thanks, George Lucas...

"This...This will save my film!"



Anyways, seeing as Bebop is a pretty awesome show, the ending of this series, even though it actually went off the air like a decade ago, was sad to watch this past week. I'll admit it was a little hard not to get slightly teary in those last couple episodes when certain characters left...or died :(

Soooo, yep. I'm done with it, and I guess that's all I've really got to say on the matter for now. I'd definitely recommend the show if you haven't seen it, aaaaand I guess that's all for now, folks.

See you, space cowboy.
mjl.